The Man of My Dreams

I am sure if you clicked on the link to my blog you are expecting to find a post describing how George Thomas Clackum is the man of my dreams.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, but George is not the man of my dreams....

I could never have dreamed of a man like him.
I could never have dreamed that my future husband would be so...

kind

loving

FUN

handsome

strong

gentle

devoted to the lord

steady

patient

hard working

cuddly

It's amusing just how much better my heavenly father knows me than I know myself. As a young girl I often dreamed of marrying a man just like me. I thought we would have the same hobbies, interests, and ideas. I pictured someone who was emotional and impulsive just like me. Oh, what a silly girl I was.

I can't thank the Lord enough for not sending me the man of my dreams because he wouldn't have made my heart beat faster and slower at the same time like George does. I am quite certain he wouldn't stare at me with such an adoring expression when I sing into my imaginary microphone in the car. And I am 100% positive he wouldn't make me feel like I am the most beautiful, talented, and loved girl in any room. He simply would not have been perfect for me.

It's true, the Lord's plan is SO much better than anything we could ever think or imagine.

God's grace gave me more than I could have ever dreamed of, and I couldn't be more thankful.

Broken

Tonight I am reminded we are not promised another second, minute, or hour. Our time here is but a vapor.

I checked my Facebook when I arrived home from a VERY long day.

To be utterly transparent I was feeling a bit sorry for myself. I am a busy girl, and tonight I have been feeling every bit of that busyness (Oh how quickly I was reminded my life is not my own, and my work is to bring glory to God).

As I scrolled down the statuses of my Facebook friends I caught a couple tid-bits and quickly came to the realization that one of my former classmates passed away. Immediately I relieved that imaginary punch to the gut. I held my breath as I scrolled again hoping and praying I had misunderstood.

No misunderstanding. Today, our Lord called yet another one of his faithful followers home. Even though I haven't seen or spoken to Paige in years, I often caught updates of her life on Facebook and thought to myself "Wow, she is really on fire for God!" I am humbled and amazed that she bore so much fruit in her service to the Lord that I knew of her zeal without having seen or heard her in years. How amazing is that? I know she used her God given gifts to bring praise back to the Father. She was a talented photographer, and I have admired her photos many times.

I know the Lord has done so much through her, and I am quite certain he isn't done yet.

I am absolutely heart broken for her family, and tonight they will be the focus of my prayer. However, I am thankful there is no need to pray for Paige tonight because she is healed, whole, living in paradise, and offering praise to the Lord. She no longer needs my prayers.

His plan is perfect, but He never promised it would be void of pain.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going." John 14:1-4

He's One.

It's hard for me to fathom that as of today Carson Nicholas Freeman has lived a full year of life.

It honestly seems like yesterday this sweet little boy made his appearance on a scorching hot day in July...

I never could have imagined just how much this cutie would mean to me. I, of course, begged Whitney weekly to have a child before she got pregnant but really I just wanted her to have her deepest desire. I knew she so desperately wanted to be a Mommy and I knew seeing that would make my heart spill over with joy. I knew I would enjoy being an aunt, but I didn't realize it was a dream come true until I laid my eyes on Carson. Even though my first glimpse of him arrived via text message, he stole every piece of my heart. I wish I could explain why I love him so much, but I can't. I have a suspicion that a good portion of my affection for Carson Nicholas has something to do with how much I love and lean on his Mommy. He is a part of her, and I absolutely love that.

So, in true auntie fashion I must list all the things that make this little one the best nephew in the world ;)

He has...

the prettiest blue eyes I have EVER seen.

CRAZY hair

chunky cheeks...legs...and hands!

the kind of laugh that floods your heart with joy.

an auntie that loves him more than words could ever say!

He is...

sugar sweet

deeply in love with Mickey Mouse, his Mommy, and Me (even though he doesn't see me as much!)

 tooth-less :D

always on the move!

sneaky

SO happy!

irresistibly cute

addicted to sweet tea (a southern right of passage)

but mostly importantly...

today, he is one.

His Mommy has cried at everyone of his many milestones over the past year and today, I find myself joining her. He is definitely growing up too fast for my liking. I often wish he could stay this size forever, but I am so very excited for the ages to come. Hopefully I will be there for every other birthday/birthday party!

Auntie Laurin loves you SO much Carson...so much that today, it hurts.

 Happy 1st Birthday sweet boy!

Here is Carson's first year in pictures...enjoy!

Reality Check

For a good portion of my life everything I would ever need or want has been given to me. Yes, I would consider myself very spoiled in many aspects. My Momma, Grandparents, fiance, and many other family members have always done a superb job of taking care of me.

Therefore, when George and I received word this week that we are going to be able to rent this adorable house ...(it's SOOO exciting!)

reality quickly set in. My husband and I are going to have to actually take care of ourselves! Eeeek! I didn't know how scary "real life" was until George spent an hour in Starbucks calculating our budget. When he gently pointed out that our income and budget barely matched, I felt nauseous.

Fortunately, later that night we both turned to look at one another and mutually agreed we were going to be just fine. The Lord has brought us to this place and he will see to it that we get everything we need. No, not exactly everything we want, but I am definitely learning to be OK with that.

Today, I am thankful for my spoiled childhood, reality checks, and a fantastic future husband.

It's all going to be alright.

The Wedding Wave

To the brides who have essentially "gone before me" in this whole wedding planning process, I blame you. I would love an explanation as to why none of you warned me about "The Wedding Wave."

These past few days have been overwhelming. It's like a wave of anxiety, a title wave to be exact, has risen up and smacked me right in the face. I have cried, laughed, and cringed at the "to-do" list before me, but fortunately I have some stellar people in my life that have forced me to carry on.

Yesterday, some of my favorites came to meet with me and a potential florist. It went great, and I have one more BIG thing checked off the list! My Momma, Grandma, and Grandpa comprise my wedding planning "dream team." They drove 3 hours here and back to accompany me to the meeting. I know, I have one AMAZING family. I feel so blessed to have them holding my hand through all of this stress! Their encouragement, God's grace, and the prayers/thoughts of many others are getting me through.

There WILL be a wedding at Life Journey Church on October 20th, 2012 and it WILL be wonderful, beautiful, and perfect! ;)


So, to the other brides out there who have not been informed, there WILL be a wave. It is huge, gigantic, and overwhelming. However, once you get smacked in the face, and you get over the near drowning effect of this "Wedding Wave," stand to your feet and remind yourself that at the end of all this...you will be someones wife. Thankfully, the simple fact that after all of the sleepless nights and worry I will be Mrs. Clackum is allowing me to smile.

Therefore, I am currently searching for my boogie-board, because this bride is bound and determined to ride this wave all the way to shore!

As always, thanks for reading.

Life's a Beach

After two long weeks of one of the best camps yet, we are FINALLY at the beach! I wish I could properly express just how much I need this vacation.

The last month has been one of the most stressful of my life. So, last night when I stepped out into the moonlight on the beach I felt...free. Free of every wedding worry, every unresolved ministry related issue, and free of the stressful "summer reading" rush at work.

It's amazing that a little sand between your toes makes you feel completely and fully alive. I could have stood with my feet burried in the sand all night long. Lydia and I stood for a half hour chatting it up ankle deep in Mryle Beach water. Good conversation and a clear night sky made for the perfect first night at the beach. I am certainly blessed.

Soon the whole family will be heading down to the beach to bake in the sun and take a beating by the waves.

Let the vacation begin...