Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Little Brother

It's not your birthday or National Siblings Day today, I just miss you a whole bunch. I would give anything to just spend a couple hours with you, but a few hundred miles are standing in the way.

Tonight I find myself remembering the days when we lived in the same house, and spent so much time dancing around the living room, singing in my car, playing video games, playing hide and seek, and arguing over who would get to sit in the front seat of Mom's car.

I wish I would have realized then that our days of being only a door away were numbered...I would have danced a bit longer...I would have taken another lap around the block to sing a few more songs...I would have hid a little longer, and I would have given you the front seat....actually, I definitely wouldn't have given you the front seat...but you get the picture! ;)

One of my biggest struggles in moving to South Carolina for college was the fact that I wouldn't be there for your last few years of middle and high school. I wrestled with that a lot, and I finally came to the conclusion that it was important for me to show you that following God was of the utmost importance. I needed to show you how to step out in faith, and be brave.

I knew that my decision would be tough to live with, but I didn't realize how heart crushing it would be to come home and see that you had been growing up without me. Once, I came home for a visit and you had gotten glasses...I couldn't believe it. I was mad at Momma for days because she forgot to mention it. I literally cried about the fact that you had had glasses for two weeks! I just didn't want you to change and move on without me.

I always hoped the distance would get easier, but with every new chapter in your life comes something else I am missing out on. I will never fully understand why the Lord called me three hours, and then five, away from you and our family, but I trust that His will is perfect and I trust that in your heart you know I had to go.

We share a bond that is distinct and deep. We have the same parents, the same face shape, and the same understanding that no matter how far this life carries us you will always be my bubby and I will always be your sissy.

Tyler, I miss you every. single. day. I can only pray that one day the Lord's calling will lead us both to places that aren't so far away.

I'm so very glad that my love for you is far greater than 300+ miles<3

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