7 a.m.

To those of you who awake refreshed and ready to take on the world the moment the sun makes its first appearance...I honestly don't know how you do it. 

I woke up at 7 a.m. today. Now, normally this wouldn't be all that big of a deal, but today I not only awoke an hour and a half before I had planned (on my day off), I woke up with a feeling of impending doom draped across me like a blanket. A feeling that caused me to struggle for my next breath.

I am fairly certain I must have had a wedding related nightmare that didn't quite fully reveal itself to my conscious mind. Even though I could not recall this dream or heaven forbid premonition, it still left feelings of anxiety and doom coursing through me over an hour.

Let's review...

I have been up since 7.
I awoke to certain doom.
My wedding is in 17 days.
I have 56094098560934 things to do before the aforementioned wedding.
I am a mess.
I am anxious.
I am stressed.
I am so very tired of being stressed and anxious.

However....

(and that's a BIG however...)

I was ushered into the throne room this morning. I was held onto and loved by the father I have known since I was knit together in my mother's womb. He allowed comfort to wash over me in my most desperate hour, and He made me feel as if everything is possible if I only call on His name.  

This morning I worshiped Him and sang praise for all of the things He is doing in my life. He has refreshed my soul, and today I am glad, joyful, and loved simply because I am His. I know He will get me through the stress of wedding planning, and I know he will get me safely to the marriage that will glorify His name. I need only ask.

7 a.m. came early today, but I think my lack of sleep was God given. All throughout the bible there are passages that speak of fully devoted men and women of God rising early to worship and to pray.

God told Moses, “Rise early in the morning and present yourself before Pharaoh.(Exodus 8:20; cf. 9:13) 

Moses “arose early in the morning” to build an alter to sacrifice to God after he wrote the law of the Lord.(Exodus 24:4) 

The Lord Jesus Christ arose “in the early morning, while it was still dark,” and left the house to pray in a secluded place. (Mark 1:35)  

The women followers of Jesus, “at early dawn,” went to the tomb to anoint the body of Jesus (Luke 24:1; cf. v. 22; John 20:1).

Thanking God for waking me up early today to experience His presence.

 

 

I Should Have Grown Up In The 50's

Its true, I honestly believe I should have grown up in the 1950's. My favorite shows, music, and clothing have a retro, 1950's style. I have never been able to explain it. I am absolutely in love with everything from that era!

So, when it came time to cast a vision for my North Carolina bridal shower...I knew just where I wanted to take it...back to the 50's! I know you are all probably thinking "Oh, like records and stuff." Well, not exactly...my dream was to have a 50's house wife shower!

Luckily, my MOH/cousin Whitney, Aunt Tara, and Momma all agreed and jumped on board. I honestly thought they would all think I was crazy for wanted a themed bridal shower, but they seemed just as excited as I was to incorporate the time period I hold most dear!

My shower was held at the cutest coffee shop in town, Monkeez Brew. I couldn't have dreamed up a better location! It fit the theme so perfectly, and my favorite girls did an amazing job with decorating. It was more than I could have ever hoped for! A perfect day celebrating and being showered with wonderful and undeserved gifts...we are so blessed!

Thanks SO much to everyone who helped, brought us gifts, and spent their afternoon in the 50's.

:)

Here's another few thousand words....

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I didn't get to take pictures with every one at the shower....including my sweet, sweet Grandma! Yes, I did cry after it was all over when I realized through the hustle and bustle I didn't snag a picture with her. However, I plan to get a TONS with her on the "big day!" :)

One Date at A Time...

I am a firm believer in dating. I am also a strong advocate for dating within marriage. I personally believe dating your spouse will not only help your marriage last but it will help it grow.

So, a few Saturday nights ago I decided that I should get a head start on dating my almost husband. Unfortunately a friend had to cancel our plans on Saturday night, but thankfully my sweet fiance hadn't made any plans of his own yet! I had a lot of time to think at work (not too many people hang out in the library on Saturday apparently) and I decided to give one of my favorite websites a visit....

thedatingdivas.com

This site is dedicated to strengthening marriages...one date at a time. Unfortunately the marriage part doesn't apply to me YET, but I have used some of their ideas and geared them for mine and George's dating relationship. So far every dating idea I have used from The Dating Divas has been a great success, and this past weekend was no exception!

I spent around 4 hours planning, buying, preparing, decorating, and cooking for our date. I was a little scared  I would be too tired to even enjoy the date, but I was overtaken by excitement and adrenaline when he was so surprised by what I had done! I really enjoyed planning something for him, and I know he felt appreciated by the effort and love.

Since this blog is still titled "a thousand words," I am going to share pictures of our Saturday night!

(We used these menus....but no fear...we know we aren't married just yet! So, these were just for fun!)

I found this free printable menus on the dating divas website and had so much fun customizing them. The "Couples Cafe" was a big hit with George. I cooked a chicken pasta dish with cheesy garlic bread. We both agreed that it was quite possibly the best meal I have ever made...SUCCESS!

I didn't want our evening to end with just dinner so I searched on The divas website once again and found an amazing article on date ideas for a bunch of different movies! There were only a couple I thought George and I would both enjoy, so I decided we would watch "Just Go With it." It's a movie staring Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler. A good portion of the movie is set in Hawaii. So, The Divas suggested many island themed ideas to add some fun to watching a movie at home. I snagged this idea and went to town finding leis and fruity drinks! I made us a small desert to snack on during the movie, and we spent the next 2 hours laughing our tails off! We both loved the movie, and our island surroundings.

Overall I would say it was one of our most fun and interesting dates yet, and I only spent about $25! Thanks Dating Divas!

Celebrations and Transitions

It's been an exhausting but amazing past couple weeks!

One fabulous wedding shower, days of moving, and one of my good friends getting married have left me breathless.

Seriously, I have been going none stop! However, I have honestly enjoyed every bit.

George and I received many amazing presents at our shower in Georgia almost two weeks ago. My Mom, Grandma, and aunt Tara all traveled the 5 hours to be in attendance and I couldn't have been more appreciative! Honestly, it's one of the best wedding showers I have ever been to (maybe I am a little biased)! We played games, opened countless presents, and ate cake. I couldn't think of a better way to spend my Saturday morning....could you? :)

Although our shower was a blast I know it was a taxing event for the wonderful ladies that put it on! So, a big thanks goes out to Lydia, Katrina, Nichole, and anyone else who played any role in making our first wedding shower a success! Also, a BIG thanks to everyone that so graciously showered us with gifts. We love and appreciate each and every one of you, and your Thank You notes will be on the way shortly. ;)

A couple of days after our shower George and I finally got to move into our rental house! Well, technically he got to move in. I will be staying with my good friend Rebecca till October. Still, it was a crazy week of transition, and I am just now starting to feel the heavy weight of real life. I have been brought to tears multiple times this week at the thought of not going back to college this semester. I think it is mostly because I am so attached to SWU's campus. I have lived there for the past 4 years almost non-stop. It has become my home, and it's doesn't quite feel right not being there. I know my heart will surely change, but I would definitely appreciate prayers for this time of transition in my life! Rebecca has done a wonderful job of welcoming me into her home and day-to-day life. I am more than excited to have her as a roommate for the next couple months!

As always, thanks for your support and prayers!

The Man of My Dreams

I am sure if you clicked on the link to my blog you are expecting to find a post describing how George Thomas Clackum is the man of my dreams.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, but George is not the man of my dreams....

I could never have dreamed of a man like him.
I could never have dreamed that my future husband would be so...

kind

loving

FUN

handsome

strong

gentle

devoted to the lord

steady

patient

hard working

cuddly

It's amusing just how much better my heavenly father knows me than I know myself. As a young girl I often dreamed of marrying a man just like me. I thought we would have the same hobbies, interests, and ideas. I pictured someone who was emotional and impulsive just like me. Oh, what a silly girl I was.

I can't thank the Lord enough for not sending me the man of my dreams because he wouldn't have made my heart beat faster and slower at the same time like George does. I am quite certain he wouldn't stare at me with such an adoring expression when I sing into my imaginary microphone in the car. And I am 100% positive he wouldn't make me feel like I am the most beautiful, talented, and loved girl in any room. He simply would not have been perfect for me.

It's true, the Lord's plan is SO much better than anything we could ever think or imagine.

God's grace gave me more than I could have ever dreamed of, and I couldn't be more thankful.

Broken

Tonight I am reminded we are not promised another second, minute, or hour. Our time here is but a vapor.

I checked my Facebook when I arrived home from a VERY long day.

To be utterly transparent I was feeling a bit sorry for myself. I am a busy girl, and tonight I have been feeling every bit of that busyness (Oh how quickly I was reminded my life is not my own, and my work is to bring glory to God).

As I scrolled down the statuses of my Facebook friends I caught a couple tid-bits and quickly came to the realization that one of my former classmates passed away. Immediately I relieved that imaginary punch to the gut. I held my breath as I scrolled again hoping and praying I had misunderstood.

No misunderstanding. Today, our Lord called yet another one of his faithful followers home. Even though I haven't seen or spoken to Paige in years, I often caught updates of her life on Facebook and thought to myself "Wow, she is really on fire for God!" I am humbled and amazed that she bore so much fruit in her service to the Lord that I knew of her zeal without having seen or heard her in years. How amazing is that? I know she used her God given gifts to bring praise back to the Father. She was a talented photographer, and I have admired her photos many times.

I know the Lord has done so much through her, and I am quite certain he isn't done yet.

I am absolutely heart broken for her family, and tonight they will be the focus of my prayer. However, I am thankful there is no need to pray for Paige tonight because she is healed, whole, living in paradise, and offering praise to the Lord. She no longer needs my prayers.

His plan is perfect, but He never promised it would be void of pain.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going." John 14:1-4

He's One.

It's hard for me to fathom that as of today Carson Nicholas Freeman has lived a full year of life.

It honestly seems like yesterday this sweet little boy made his appearance on a scorching hot day in July...

I never could have imagined just how much this cutie would mean to me. I, of course, begged Whitney weekly to have a child before she got pregnant but really I just wanted her to have her deepest desire. I knew she so desperately wanted to be a Mommy and I knew seeing that would make my heart spill over with joy. I knew I would enjoy being an aunt, but I didn't realize it was a dream come true until I laid my eyes on Carson. Even though my first glimpse of him arrived via text message, he stole every piece of my heart. I wish I could explain why I love him so much, but I can't. I have a suspicion that a good portion of my affection for Carson Nicholas has something to do with how much I love and lean on his Mommy. He is a part of her, and I absolutely love that.

So, in true auntie fashion I must list all the things that make this little one the best nephew in the world ;)

He has...

the prettiest blue eyes I have EVER seen.

CRAZY hair

chunky cheeks...legs...and hands!

the kind of laugh that floods your heart with joy.

an auntie that loves him more than words could ever say!

He is...

sugar sweet

deeply in love with Mickey Mouse, his Mommy, and Me (even though he doesn't see me as much!)

 tooth-less :D

always on the move!

sneaky

SO happy!

irresistibly cute

addicted to sweet tea (a southern right of passage)

but mostly importantly...

today, he is one.

His Mommy has cried at everyone of his many milestones over the past year and today, I find myself joining her. He is definitely growing up too fast for my liking. I often wish he could stay this size forever, but I am so very excited for the ages to come. Hopefully I will be there for every other birthday/birthday party!

Auntie Laurin loves you SO much Carson...so much that today, it hurts.

 Happy 1st Birthday sweet boy!

Here is Carson's first year in pictures...enjoy!